✟✟✟ My ☹wn dirty little secret ✟✟✟
CW-130 (?) I have a morbid fear of
weighing myself at the moment
GW1: 110
GW2: 95

In no way shape or form do I promote self-injury, anorexia, bulimia or any other eating disorder. I have battled my body and food for over ten years now. The sole purpose of this blog is to document and find a place of some sort of solitude, I am just trying to express all the fucked up thoughts in my head. Please leave if you find any of the content triggering.
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Undressed Skeleton: Zucchini Pizzas, Anyone? (Only 40-50 Calories) →



If you were to ask a class of elementary school students what their favorite food was, most of their answers would be “pizza”. If you were to ask a college campus what their favorite food was, most of their answers would be “pizza”. If you were to ask me what my favorite food was, I would…


(Source: teamtaralynn.com)


if you’re drinking your coffee any way other than black you’re a poodle who can’t hang with the big dogs

(via secretpolicemansball-deactivate)

Kinda proud of myself

sooo I have been 5 days B/P free and 4 days alcohol free! I’m pretty excited! I have really been focusing on just eating clean and keeping my caloric intake to 1000-1400 and keeping up with my crazy workouts. According to myfitnesspal I should be eating more (upwards to 2,000 umm no) in order to not go into starvation mode due to my super active lifestyle. Hoever I will keep to this path, I remember at my lowest weight I had little to no muscle tone except abs. I want to get back down to that weight but have some muscle tone. As far as drinking I feel like its really counterproductive to my weight loss especially at the level I drink at times; whats the pont of polishing off 5 shots of Jack Daniel’s  thats about 500-600 empty calories! Not to mention when I’m hungover I have a tendency to binge/purge and sip my workouts! Fuck that! If I fast and just drink I end up being a hot mess and do something regrettable/ embarrassing, thus continuing my cycle of anxiety. The only “benefit” it brings is that I feel more confident and not fat….but honestly its making me fat so hahahah. Anyways I need to finish my paper…I feel like physically I am recovering but mentally I’m still there…hmm. Anyways I just wanted to do a quick update! 

Fuck everything

Honestly I’m just going to stick to 500 cal a day at the most work out at least I want every single day until I just dropped down below 100 pounds I am sick of this bullshit I’m sick of feeling fat and unattractive I’m sick of binging and purging and cutting I hate this bull shit

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